Why Jealousy Won't Help Get Your Ex Back

Breaking up can be devastating, particularly if it wasn't your idea. Perhaps you never even realized that you partner was unhappy in the relationship. If you decide that you want to get back with your ex this needs to be a time of reflection on what your contribution was to the failure of the relationship and how to ensure you don't make the same mistakes when, and if, you reconcile.

It's easy to think of all sorts of crazy things to get your ex back. Right after a break up they're the only thing on your mind making it impossible to think rationally. It is also hard to function effectively in day to day life because you're hurting so bad. So you develop a plan that seems sure to work. You'll go where they are with another attractive partner by your side. Surely, when the see you with someone else they'll realize what a mistake they have made and beg you to take them back.

So off you go. After flaunting your new partner in front of your ex you go home and wait for the results. You can't wait to hear from them and imagine yourself being cool, calm and collected as they confess they made a mistake in letting you go.

But you find yourself waiting and waiting. There is no call or text message from your ex. What went wrong?

While this jealousy plan may have seemed like a sound approach at the time it is highly unlikely to be successful for a few reasons.

One reason is because your ex may have accepted you've moved on. After all you did look happy with your new parnter. Your ex may have taken this as a signal that they should move on too

The jealousy tactic can also make you look petty and desperate if your ex sees through the ruse. After all who wants to be with a petty and desperate person? Using jealousy may simply be the thing that seals the fate of the relationship as unsalvagable.

The main reason jealousy doesn't work is because of it's negative nature. Even if it did happen to succeed intially, the relationship that follows will likely be short term because it's foundation was trickery and manipulation.

If you really are interested in getting your ex back into a sustainable relationship, you won't resort to this sort of tactic. There's plenty of ways to get your ex back that don't involve slinging mud. And what's more there are plenty of happy couples who have reconciled using these proven tactics.