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Trying To Lose Body Weight, Make Other Changes? There Is A Formula That Guarantees Your Success
For the majority of folks, the path to personal transformation and self-improvement is a long and winding trail filled with complex barriers. Pharmaceutical companies in particular have capitalized on and created gigantic fortunes based on the elusive search for the "Magic Pill" that will fix everything. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the human mind.
One of the rules of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that "there is a positive intention behind all behaviors." And based on that rule, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is a formula that we should always keep in mind. I'll let you in on the secret formula in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.
Riddle: A holy man made his son drink lye, which burned out the child's voice box. What was the positive intent behind this action?
If you are like most of the clients who have come into my office since 1978, you'll say something like: "There isn't any." But you would be completely incorrect. To answer this riddle, first you have to disconnect the behavior from the positive intention of the behavior.
The minister's son was cursing. And the minister believes that if his son curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the minister was burning out his son's voice box so that he couldn't curse. By doing so, he was saving his son's soul from being destined to Hell.
The secret equation for personal change works as follows:
We must respect the positive intent that motivates each behavior. If we have an urge to make use of a behavior that we don't appreciate, we can easily get rid of the urge to use that behavior. What we need to do is to find a different behavior to substitute in its place. To be successful, the new conduct must be as accessible and effective at accomplishing the same outcome, but be more consciously tolerable. We call this a REFRAME.
When clients come into my practice, the first thing I do is to take a comprehensive case history. In this instance, let's pretend that they come in and ask me to help them suppress their appetite. Conventional wisdom tells us that the two main reasons that anyone eats excessively are: (1) for relaxation and pleasure; (2) because eating can be a conditioned response. For example, if a person eats while they are talk on the phone, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they talk on the phone they will get a craving for food.
However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible positive intention behind the eating behavior. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For instance: What if being heavy is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind working away right now as you think, "Being heavy isn't a behavior, what are you talking about?"
Sorry but you could be totally incorrect. Here is one simple classic textbook example that will illustrate the fact that being heavy can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can supply secondary gains.
Example: A woman falls in love. Her boyfriend breaks up with her, and breaks her heart. Her unconscious mind wants to shield her emotionally and keep her from ever having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get heavy to keep her out of relationships. By doing that she can't get her heart broken again.
The point is that everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are subliminal elements at work causing uncontrollable behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.
Here is another example: A woman comes to my practice complaining of an out of control urge to eat way too much at mealtime. During the case history, upon questioning, the woman explains to me how she has never been able to please her dad.
We did an age regression, and one of her early memories was of having dinner with her family. And her father was insisting in a very loud voice that she clean her plate, even though she was bursting at the seams. So she cleaned her plate out of fear, and her dad commended her for eating everything. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her dad telling her that she had made him happy.
Jump forward to present day. Dad's been dead for years, but the unconscious program he created is still at work. She still has an urge to eat all of the food on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed, because by cleaning the plate, in her subconscious mind she is getting dad's approval, and eliminating her own fear!
So if you are finding it difficult to make personal changes, keep in mind that there is a positive intent behind all behaviors. And the formula for successful change is to substitute a different behavior that will accomplish the same secondary gains, but in a way that is more consciously satisfactory to you, as an individual. The most effective way to get your unconscious mind to take the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP Six-Step Reframe.
One of the rules of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that "there is a positive intention behind all behaviors." And based on that rule, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is a formula that we should always keep in mind. I'll let you in on the secret formula in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.
Riddle: A holy man made his son drink lye, which burned out the child's voice box. What was the positive intent behind this action?
If you are like most of the clients who have come into my office since 1978, you'll say something like: "There isn't any." But you would be completely incorrect. To answer this riddle, first you have to disconnect the behavior from the positive intention of the behavior.
The minister's son was cursing. And the minister believes that if his son curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the minister was burning out his son's voice box so that he couldn't curse. By doing so, he was saving his son's soul from being destined to Hell.
The secret equation for personal change works as follows:
We must respect the positive intent that motivates each behavior. If we have an urge to make use of a behavior that we don't appreciate, we can easily get rid of the urge to use that behavior. What we need to do is to find a different behavior to substitute in its place. To be successful, the new conduct must be as accessible and effective at accomplishing the same outcome, but be more consciously tolerable. We call this a REFRAME.
When clients come into my practice, the first thing I do is to take a comprehensive case history. In this instance, let's pretend that they come in and ask me to help them suppress their appetite. Conventional wisdom tells us that the two main reasons that anyone eats excessively are: (1) for relaxation and pleasure; (2) because eating can be a conditioned response. For example, if a person eats while they are talk on the phone, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they talk on the phone they will get a craving for food.
However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible positive intention behind the eating behavior. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For instance: What if being heavy is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind working away right now as you think, "Being heavy isn't a behavior, what are you talking about?"
Sorry but you could be totally incorrect. Here is one simple classic textbook example that will illustrate the fact that being heavy can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can supply secondary gains.
Example: A woman falls in love. Her boyfriend breaks up with her, and breaks her heart. Her unconscious mind wants to shield her emotionally and keep her from ever having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get heavy to keep her out of relationships. By doing that she can't get her heart broken again.
The point is that everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are subliminal elements at work causing uncontrollable behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.
Here is another example: A woman comes to my practice complaining of an out of control urge to eat way too much at mealtime. During the case history, upon questioning, the woman explains to me how she has never been able to please her dad.
We did an age regression, and one of her early memories was of having dinner with her family. And her father was insisting in a very loud voice that she clean her plate, even though she was bursting at the seams. So she cleaned her plate out of fear, and her dad commended her for eating everything. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her dad telling her that she had made him happy.
Jump forward to present day. Dad's been dead for years, but the unconscious program he created is still at work. She still has an urge to eat all of the food on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed, because by cleaning the plate, in her subconscious mind she is getting dad's approval, and eliminating her own fear!
So if you are finding it difficult to make personal changes, keep in mind that there is a positive intent behind all behaviors. And the formula for successful change is to substitute a different behavior that will accomplish the same secondary gains, but in a way that is more consciously satisfactory to you, as an individual. The most effective way to get your unconscious mind to take the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP Six-Step Reframe.
Article Source: www.Content-Syndication.org
Article Tags
hypnosis, hypnotherapy, hypnotism, NLP, weight loss, lose weight, appetite, suppression, stop smoking, quit smoking, smokeless tobacco, tobacco, cigarettes
About the Author
Alan B. Densky, CH is an NLP Practitioner. He opened his professional practice of hypnosis in 1978. He offers an interactive NLP Six-Step Reframing CD on his Neuro-VISION Hypnosis website. Also offered are his Free hypnosis article library, MP3 downloads, and NLP newsletters.
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